Since coming to university, I have learned several things. Among them:
So after a while of feeling this low-key existential panic, I came across this image and I can honestly say I have never related more strongly with any image ever in my life. Seeing it awoke something in me, and I felt inspired to make work in the same vein - what I saw as a celebration of anxiety, a celebration of panic, a celebration of not knowing what the fuck is going on. So, I made some bunting. Yay!
Social anxiety is an anxiety disorder in which a person has an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Anxiety (intense nervousness) and self-consciousness arise from a fear of being closely watched, judged, and criticized by others. - definition from webmd.com I have a real problem walking through crowds.
Appearing in front of crowds, I can handle. Singing publicly? Cool. Public speaking? Fine. But walking through a crowd of people when I'm on my own? Nah son. I get sweaty, my heart picks up, my eyes are immediately drawn downward. Realistically, rationally, I am aware that these people aren't looking at me. I know that I'm nothing more than a background character in their story, really. But there is a part of my mind, this jarring, persistent voice, that tells me I'm wrong. It tells me they are looking at me. They are judging me. The way I walk, perhaps, or the way my hair looks, or some other such inconsequential element of my appearance. Rationally, I know they're not. But maybe they are. |
Annie Lilygreen
I'm almost always panicking but I'm trying to be chilled about it
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